Wednesday

I aint gonna tell no more shittin stories for a couple of days because some of yall dont believe im for real. fuckina.

This boy I knew had a pig on his property in the back and it was fatter n hell. He was ready to kill and cook the somabitch and called me and skeeter over to his house to do the deed. We had a couple of cases of beer and some toot. It was in the late 70s before cocaine was addictive and before the blacks started doin it. We drank a bunch of beer and did all that powder and walked down their to shoot that pig. When we got there that fat whore was all sprawled out lickin the dirt. Skeeter aimed at the fucker with his 38 and when he fired at her she reared her head back and the bullet went in her snout and out her dadgum eyeball.

She went to hollerin and sprayin us down with blood like something else.

Billy, the boy that owned the pig shot her in the ear with his 30 / 30 and laid her ass out for good.

After we gutted her we boiled her in a 55 gallon drum to soften up the skin and then smoked her and peeled off the cracklin to mix with the grits in the mornin and the cornbread at suppertime.

Good thing I couldn't sleep because I didn't have another shirt and my socks were filthyrnhell. fuckina.

Keepin it real,

Paul

monday

I went to church a couple of weeks back on a Sunday because my Mexican neighbors said they would do my bushes and trim out the dead growth from my tree that was hangin over their trailer. My tree is all fucked up but I aint gettin up on no ladder and cuttin that limb. Fuck all that.
I went to church with them and got there in the pew and was sittin next to this little rambunctious nine year old mexican boy.(He told me he was nine so I didnt just guess and all.) The family I got there with was on my left and that boy was on my right, about halfway through the service that boy started makin pootin sounds with his mouth and got everybody all fired up, he looked at me like I was supposed to pretend it was me pootin. Little somabitch.. Fuckina. The preacher said "who is this pootin in my church?" My mind went blank and I said "it aint me officer. Fuckina. It is this boy here doin it with his mouth. wasnt even real your honor."
After I said what I did everybody laughed and that boy was sent back to the kiddy church thing in the back. Fuckina little fucker make me look bad to the mexican church people.

Keepin it real,

Paul

Friday

I made that picture of my hand smaller because I was tired of lookin at it. You can still pick on it if you need to see it bigger.

Im doin alright yall.

Hope everybody has a killer weekend. fuckina.

Keepin it real,

Paul

tuesday night hammered

The boy at the garage emailed me the picture he took of my hand. I will try to get him to take one of the stitches when I get back to work on Monday. I might take em out before then who knows.

Keepin it real,

Paul

Tuesday 420

I wrecked my hand today cranking on a wrench trying to get a bolt loose. I was tightening the spring on the overhead door at the garage and the rebar I was using as a tool came loose and that thing went to spinnin and cut the top of my hand wide open. My doctor gave me some pills and I picked up a bottle of Evan Williams from the store so I will be alright. I only had to get 18 stiches so its not all that rough. I am going to sit on my lazy boy in the C and watch a little speedvision on the tube.

Keepin it real,

Paul

Monday beer 30

Yall be sure to come on over and check out the other blog I hang around. It is called straight to hell and this is the page link http://straighthell.blogspot.com/
My Vietnam vet brothers spend alot of time there bitchin and fightin but its all good clean fun. Ill holler at yall later.

Ok I am Paul skinner from north Florida. I rebuild carburators for american cars mostly Jeeps and live in paradise. I own my trailer and land by the marsh and love to hunt and fish. My old lady is a clerk for the dmv and we aint got no kids. having a webpage is new to me the boy at the garage set this up for me so I could tell my funny stories that he laughs at here.

Keep it real,

Paul.

Is this working now?