Update

Yall I have been busy and dont know when I will be able to talk to you again. My mexican neighbors took the internet wire out of the tree that I had strung across the street from there house so I dont know how much I might be able to tell my stories.

Oh but get this,

There is this schoolteacher woman that lives up the road that has come by and we are fuckin, fuckina..

Keepin it real,

Paul

Im gonna tell yall something that aint really funny to me and Shelly but here goes.

My Dog, the chow I call Susie was on the leash out back like always.

Old dog likes to run around and bite at mosquitoes like somethin else fuckina.

She aint but six but acts ten, this one boy likes to cut it up the road on his big wheel and pull the break tryin to be all cool.

Susie got off that chain and bit that somabitch inthe arm not to bad but nipped his ass.

That boy dont slide on his big wheel on my dirt road no more.

Keepin it real,

Paul

Stupid fuckers

Sherry is madder than hell that yall called her fat and I aint gonna get no cooter because of yall Somabitches. Fuckina.

How bout them Dawgs?

This is my old lady Sherry

Shes kinda plump and gets all hammered and shit, kicks my

chow but she is warmer than hell when it comes to snugglin.

I got a bunch of pictures of her at the park doin stuff like climbin trees, jumpin over stumps and shit like that.

There is another one of her drinkin out the water fountain that im bout to post hold on.

Old girl likes to poot in her hand and hot pocket her cousin at the skatin rink she says. Whatever that means.








Sherry shore is nice, she is a little bigger than she was when we first met but aint nothin wrong with that.

My woman knows how to cook fuckina...

Keepin it real,

Paul

Im bout to tell yall my mexican neighbors

trailer caught on fire and the internet wire I had run from over there through the woods got melted and that is why I have not been on the web.

I got a killer story to tell bout this black woman said she was gonna whoop my ass I am hammered fuckin a.

Ill tell it too mara.

Keepin it real,

Paul

Oh and get this my old lady Sherry let me take a couple of pictures of her.

Im gonna post those in a little while too.

Keepin it real,

Paul

Wednesday

I aint gonna tell no more shittin stories for a couple of days because some of yall dont believe im for real. fuckina.

This boy I knew had a pig on his property in the back and it was fatter n hell. He was ready to kill and cook the somabitch and called me and skeeter over to his house to do the deed. We had a couple of cases of beer and some toot. It was in the late 70s before cocaine was addictive and before the blacks started doin it. We drank a bunch of beer and did all that powder and walked down their to shoot that pig. When we got there that fat whore was all sprawled out lickin the dirt. Skeeter aimed at the fucker with his 38 and when he fired at her she reared her head back and the bullet went in her snout and out her dadgum eyeball.

She went to hollerin and sprayin us down with blood like something else.

Billy, the boy that owned the pig shot her in the ear with his 30 / 30 and laid her ass out for good.

After we gutted her we boiled her in a 55 gallon drum to soften up the skin and then smoked her and peeled off the cracklin to mix with the grits in the mornin and the cornbread at suppertime.

Good thing I couldn't sleep because I didn't have another shirt and my socks were filthyrnhell. fuckina.

Keepin it real,

Paul

monday

I went to church a couple of weeks back on a Sunday because my Mexican neighbors said they would do my bushes and trim out the dead growth from my tree that was hangin over their trailer. My tree is all fucked up but I aint gettin up on no ladder and cuttin that limb. Fuck all that.
I went to church with them and got there in the pew and was sittin next to this little rambunctious nine year old mexican boy.(He told me he was nine so I didnt just guess and all.) The family I got there with was on my left and that boy was on my right, about halfway through the service that boy started makin pootin sounds with his mouth and got everybody all fired up, he looked at me like I was supposed to pretend it was me pootin. Little somabitch.. Fuckina. The preacher said "who is this pootin in my church?" My mind went blank and I said "it aint me officer. Fuckina. It is this boy here doin it with his mouth. wasnt even real your honor."
After I said what I did everybody laughed and that boy was sent back to the kiddy church thing in the back. Fuckina little fucker make me look bad to the mexican church people.

Keepin it real,

Paul

Friday

I made that picture of my hand smaller because I was tired of lookin at it. You can still pick on it if you need to see it bigger.

Im doin alright yall.

Hope everybody has a killer weekend. fuckina.

Keepin it real,

Paul

tuesday night hammered

The boy at the garage emailed me the picture he took of my hand. I will try to get him to take one of the stitches when I get back to work on Monday. I might take em out before then who knows.

Keepin it real,

Paul

Tuesday 420

I wrecked my hand today cranking on a wrench trying to get a bolt loose. I was tightening the spring on the overhead door at the garage and the rebar I was using as a tool came loose and that thing went to spinnin and cut the top of my hand wide open. My doctor gave me some pills and I picked up a bottle of Evan Williams from the store so I will be alright. I only had to get 18 stiches so its not all that rough. I am going to sit on my lazy boy in the C and watch a little speedvision on the tube.

Keepin it real,

Paul

Monday beer 30

Yall be sure to come on over and check out the other blog I hang around. It is called straight to hell and this is the page link http://straighthell.blogspot.com/
My Vietnam vet brothers spend alot of time there bitchin and fightin but its all good clean fun. Ill holler at yall later.

Ok I am Paul skinner from north Florida. I rebuild carburators for american cars mostly Jeeps and live in paradise. I own my trailer and land by the marsh and love to hunt and fish. My old lady is a clerk for the dmv and we aint got no kids. having a webpage is new to me the boy at the garage set this up for me so I could tell my funny stories that he laughs at here.

Keep it real,

Paul.

Is this working now?